He’ll come or he won’t, but either way I would take that job in your shoes. And I think you’re at a great age to explore and get to know a new city! Old enough to feel confident doing it, young enough to still make new friends easily. It’s basically perfect.

Girl, get thee to Chicago. I totally get it being scary to upend your life—and at 28, you feel like you should have this all sorted by now (I’m not much older than you, so I’m with you on your late 20s being hard!)—but you owe it to yourself to go for this opportunity. He doesn’t have to move for your job, but it…

Take the job. You need to focus on yourself and your future.

Hey Jezzies— Talk to me about online dating. Any success stories? Horror stories? Tips? Is it something worth trying?

I think always read “as fuck”

3

Flawleth? I don’t think tho! ;)

Apologies! This is my baseline for interacting with the world:

“People assume that just because Hillary Clinton is a woman that I’m going to support her,” Kremer said, sounding indignant. “That’s an insult to my intelligence...”

Angels for Satan

His wife ain’t never gonna take his ass to Red Lobster. Alas, I don’t want to get sidetracked by tasteless mofos. Moving on.

My husband and I danced to Black or White by Michael Jackson, we’re interracial, and the guests in attendance seemed to be in on the joke, they all joined us on the dance floor.

Why are you going at all?

Don’t go to the wedding. Seriously.

I’m never getting married, but if I did I think our first dance would be to 3 minutes of white noise with ghost-like voices chirping every once in a while.

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a Whismur.

Your screen name makes me happy.

I’ve always liked this vintage fake pistol that is actually a beauty box. You could go stick up a bank and still make sure you look like the bee’s knees.

jia, i miss you already and to show my support i have taken my parents’ login for subscribed to the new yorker.

Would rather go to House on the Rock. And eat all the cheese Wisconsin has to offer.