girl, PREACH

But, but, but, the best thing EVER is getting high and watching bad horror movies. It’s fun to get scared, I promise. Chill, girl (boy?). *Passes blunt*

What exactly are we supposed to be looking at? The dust particles?

Gaaahh! memories!

Gaaaahhh! Ewan! i’m very, very horny now.

I was 19, dude was still in my bed; blurts out: “I could never marry someone who isn’t a Christian.” I snorted because it was so absurd (19 yrs old, me a devout atheist, post-sexy times...). Anyway, apparently he had just been saved or born-again or whatevs, and burst into tears right then and there. Like horrible,…

Gaah! How sharp are those heart/butt tips?

Yes, yes, I am a (very amateur) cyclist myself. I cannot stand all the extra padding in some brands of bike shorts...don’t know how they can ride with that+ junk (I realize the padding is differently shaped for dude shorts, but still!)

Right?! and like, riding bikes....HOW?

Dear detoxers: STAAAAAHP, please, for fuck’s sake!

Really? I thought the Olds were the reason clickbait exists...like my SO’s grandma who falls for every goddamn internet scam. And my awkward baby-boomer/aging hippy parents who really never learned to internet well.

“Are they missing a vital brain structure?”

Yes! I love his perpetual “proud papa” face! But Paul Ryan’s face...ugh...his eyes remind me of Frankenstein’s monster...

Oh man, I love reaching into the air when I’m feeling chill with my skeletor friends... Seriously, why so much reaching? And cutesy hand-jestures? And why the pineapples?

I survived meeting PierreFury’s narcissistic mother’s new husband this NYE. He was wearing a Trump T-shirt and is probably one of the dumbest humans I have ever spoken to. Somewhat related: anyone know of any good online support groups or reading material for the child+child in law of a textbook narcissist (she also…

Hehehe, I just found this on that site:

Whatever happened to this kind of stroller? I haven’t seen any around lately...

Ha! At first I thought you were pro-tampon on the shower wall...then I realized you were commenting on the part about pads. Yeah, I agree with you...use whatever works and why that is anyone else’s business to comment on it beats me!

“They know toilets are connected to pipes, right?”

The issue won’t be with the toilet...it’s in the pipes later on. Tampons do not break down, and you will eventually have a problem. Worst case: a basement full of sewage. Seriously, STOP, please...or I hope the homeowner sends you a huge plumbing bill some day!