So that makes it okay?

No, patchouli will stain you for life! Seriously. I have a friend who loves it, I still have couch cushions that smell like her.

Farts. Eat some beans before you go.

My compromise is to get a miniature horse! The no baby thing is firm.

I hear you! I was led to believe that guys didn’t want kids, but all the guys my age it’s a deal breaker if you don’t want kids. I’ve known since I was 17 that I wasn’t mother material, but I don’t want to be single my whole life.

The type of freedom from not having a kid is never not boring. Of course, I’ve never wanted to kids, and anytime I feel like I have too much money, I just buy my nephew some Dr. Who stuff or I take him to Europe.

Not the greatest things ever. I saw them live when Hot Fuss just broke and they sucked live (maybe the got better), but I’ll be damned if they don’t produce some catchy as hell music and it’s on my workout playlist. Because when Mr. Brightside is playing I’m okay doing an extra thirty squats

Come Pick me Up is such a great song. I’ve also been partial to Excuse Me While I Break My Own Heart from Whiskeytown.

I kind of thought this was going to be about Ryan Adams supposedly fueling Albert Hammond Jr’s heroin addiction.

I don’t know, but can I someone tell me where this recruiting lesbian street gang is and what the initiation is? I’m looking for some new friends, and street gang of lesbians sounds like a hell of a good time.

I always want to yell at the people working out “Keep Going! Get that heart rate up.” But then I remember that I was raised in an environment where shouting from a car was not encouraged and was considered rude.

I love Marie Curie. A few years ago, I went as Marie for Halloween. I even glowed in the dark and had two Nobel prizes. I spent the entire night explaining who I was.

Why did he refer to him as Director Comey, which Trump fired him from being the director a week ago? Being the Director of the FBI doesn’t grant you that title for life, like President does.

Can your father tell me what lotto numbers to pick? If he’s psychic, I want in. If he just knows the behavior of a narcissist, then I still have some questions to ask him.

That’s funny! Yeah, with the last name Payne, naming your kid after an animal is probably not the best.

I think Bear is cute. The name could have been so so much worse.

Those were the chintziest looking curtains I’ve ever seen. Can she not afford a fabric other than muslin. She’s gonna turn the light on in her apartment and night and they’re essentially see through!

I would never sell that quote in cross stitch at my etsy store. I would sell stuff like this...

Yes, because we know if this isn’t a monument that it’s going to be fracked within an inch of it’s life. But yes, let’s worry about collecting herbs for medicine.

How can Trump invent a phrase for a task that he’s never done? He’s probably never even seen a water pump, let alone primed one, or hauled water from it.