The worst is when you have to try on shoes so you have to get help, and all the sales people just look at you and you have too much social anxiety to actually go up and talk to someone! So you just leave the store and go get a pretzel.

I’ve started buying mens t-shirts because they provide more coverage and usually drape a little bit better than womens.

I don’t buy clothes very often, but I had no idea this was a real thing! But thinking back, I tried on a cute pink peacoat from H&M and I could not find one that was comfortable in the arms. I went all the way up to a size 14 hoping that the arms would be more comfortable, alas no, and the coat stayed on the rack.

Try Boden. It’s priced about the same as J. Crew or Anthro (but they have great sales.) I’ve found that they will have some cute dresses that hit about the knee or above.

Most Mormons will try to convert you. #flirttoconvert

Oh maybe it’s because you’re a two at best. And since you’re white, you feel entitled to date a nine.

We have a lot of asian students who use the communal kitchen in my building.

I could see a tuna melt being microwaved or maybe some left over old school tuna noodle casserole or creamed tuna on toast or a tuna bunstead. But what kind of animal eats it at 9 am in a public office? Feel shame, lowly office worker. Shame.

Who eats tuna at 9 am? That is not a morning fish. Salmon I could understand. But I never agree with microwaving fish. We have a kitchen at work that is totally unusable after noon because of the constant smell of microwaved fish.

Dammit. Bristol Palin stole my baby name. Only I was going to spell it Atli. I guess my non-existent child will need a new name. This just furthers my hate of the Palin family: Taking perfectly cute names and making them unusable.

Oddly enough, it kind of reminded me of The Little Prince, before he goes to visit all the other planets and he’s just on his, alone, wearing a fabulous coat.

I can’t do baby powder. Over long exposure, like more than 30 minutes and I want to puke.

I use their keratin shampoo and conditioner and I love it. I had been using that OGX biotin stuff and it just made my hair so dry. I’ve been meaning to start trying their spray deodorant.

I went to go buy a new bag at the Fossil outlet and I had my cheap $10 Target purse. The salesman tried to flatter me by telling me that I had some good quality leather in the purse I was carrying, just like this $150 purse from Fossil. I questioned whether or not I should have bought a Fossil bag if the salesman…

I had forgotten how good of a word twitterpated is! Thank you for the reminder.

Why does it look like Pence is wearing make up? Some eyeliner (probably mascara), blush, and a nude lip color. When he’s on someone else’s body, it’s noticeable and disturbing. But I’m glad that he and Mother can share make up tips.

I’m pretty sure that Jesus said as he was curing lepers and stuff “If you believed in me, this wouldn’t have happened to you.” And then mentioned something about bootstraps.

I know this probably isn’t what you meant, but if only feel awesome in clothes that showcase your boobs and/or butt being exposed, you are shopping at the wrong stores! I’m in jeans, tank, cardigan, and wedges and I feel pretty fucking awesome.

Do it! Melania isn’t there to save the portrait of George Washington.