Best way to describe why I love Halloween so much!

I saw something the other day about women never being capable of celebrating their success and never being happy with how they are, you did an incredible thing today and I am sure you are not fat and you should be bloody proud of yourself. Don’t be bummed sweetie be so happy, I bloody would be.

Working on my daughter’s Halloween costume this week. She’s dead set on troll. Still have some more work on the headpiece and the dress, but I’m almost done!

So here’s something I SHOULD be happy about instead I’m bummed. Today I did my gym’s DRI-TRI - a 2000M row, 300 body weight exercises and then a 5K run. I’ve been working out there regularly for 7 months and wanted to see my progress. Well, I of course was the fattest one there and also the last one to finish. I was…

He was just confused. He was expecting Metallica, not Melania.

There’s an old saying that goes “The person who wants the job least might be the best person for the job.”

Why is the military and police blocking them?

Every person I know of from high school who had their first kid (and most or all subsequent kids. This is in a small town. It’s just what people do: they churn out babies) during or shortly after high school is divorced/split up from their baby mama/daddy. Every. single. one. The only exception in terms of people I…

The whole thing bums me out. This girl dated a 26 year-old when she was still 17, got a fuck-ton plastic surgery to look “sexier” while her body was still developing, and now she’s having a kid before she can even legally drink in a bar. I don’t buy that she’s particularly “mature” for her age—that’s a line fed to her…

She seems to be looking for love and acceptance in all the wrong places. If this is Travis Scott’s kid, she got pregnant by a guy she’d been dating for two months. She started getting plastic surgery at a young age after a guy told her that her thin lips made her unattractive. She dated her brother’s baby Momma’s…

Could this not turn into a nightmare inducing 500 days of Jennerfetus?

I’m prepared to get shit for this, but 20 is far too young to have a child. Hell, your damn brain doesn’t fully develop until 25. Yes, she’s rich, which will give the child an imporant leg up in the world.

I have this weird, vague sense that maybe Trump has dementia and is narcissistic, and is a liar, and a bully, and a racist, and also doesn’t really grasp complicated issues.

The same thing happened to me that happened to KK. I went in for a pregnancy confirmation ultrasound and there was an egg sac but no baby inside. A blighted ovum. This was my 4th pregnancy so I know what a healthy embryo should look like at that stage - this was just a white circle with nothing inside. Black. I was…

Guys I need to share somewhere that last weekend Scott Disick was at my hometown (Santa Barbara) local Irish pub (Dargans)...on the night of my wedding and subsequent after party there. (I got married last weekend woooo!!!) His bodyguard was a dick but he wasn’t...? He bought me a beer, several of my wedding party,…

I need a Chrome extension that will automatically change “Fat Jew” to “plagiarist Josh Ostrovsky.”

The videos on TV news showing all the people teaming up to rescue the trapped and injured has been super emotional to watch. One man commented during an interview that they train to be able to be effective responders to just these sorts of disasters. It’s obvious that the people volunteering to help accomplish the…

Some friends and I would watch it together and take shots whenever Theresa said “It’s fate!” God, I miss college!

Travis Scott’s real name is Jacques Webster, Jr. Every single part of his real name is cooler than his stage name. I don’t understand this choice of nom de rap!!!!

Sing it with me people: All I wanna dooooo, is Brap Brap Pew Pew: