I like to imagine Bieber getting some 'Scared Straight' realness from his fellow inmates while in jail. "You wanna end up like this?"

I am pregnant, and whenever someone says that I just say, "Sorry bitch, but this beauty can't be stole!" and then 4-snaps in a Z-formation and step-sashay away.

I'll see your Brooke Candy in a field, and raise you a Jane Child posing seductively with MS-DOS.

SMOLDER!

This just reminded me that I need more Anastasia Beaverhausen in my life.

Challenge: Think of more Blurred Lines lyrics that can be applied to this Robin Thicke story.

Here are the actual images from the transcript:

Kind of like they did with Mindy?

We're all adults here.

She looks like what Lindsay Lohan might have looked like today had she not lost her shit.

The real star of the show was Sosie Bacon's arm.

And if we really want to get specific here...he's actually a vampire hunter, not a vampire.

Correction: Taylor Swift is looking for an apartment to tacky up in New York City.

Naya Rivera's face keeps getting more and more plastic looking every time I see it.

I thought her tongue was a nose at first. A Gargamel nose, to be exact.

Mind. Blown.

But did Ursula personally make this? Did the ingredients come from a sea flower? I need answers.

P.S. - I would buy the SHIT out of her makeup.

Yes, and she's wearing it with her Triton Blue eyeshadow.

Ursula starts her own cosmetics company.