One thing you see in New York all the time is people getting in fights and arguments that would be fatal for somebody almost anywhere else in the country, but they just end and the combatants seem to just get over it as fast as it started. I mean, you’ll see people call each other awful names, threaten to kill each…

the moral of the story is don’t bring a knife to a can fight.

• Who is this energetic for a street fight at 6:50 a.m.

Let this be a lesson to everyone:

Towards the end, I thought machete guy was going to drive off without Machete girl. Which would have completed the circle of doucheness.

Double Dragon was my favorite arcade game.

Why is Machete Guy already bleeding?

I mean, if I have a garbage can I’m not afraid to use it in a fight. Give me a machete (or a gun for that matter) and I doubt I’d be nearly as enthusiastic with it.

When I was in high school I had my ears pierced and subsequently worked on stretching them out. I got them up to what I believe is called 00 (double zero) in size, which a quick search tells me is 10mm in diameter. I never had anything go missing in the lobes, but they were both absolutely disgusting. They they were…

I kinda love how the fight quickly devolves into a “Eh, whatever” kind of ending. As if it’s just another the day at the office or something.

Why can’t all teens be bitter, emotionally crippled, Tom Waits-loving alcoholics like I was at 17?

ME: tolerance and peace is the best way to go through life. we shouldn’t infringe on somebody who’s just doing what they want
ALSO ME: we should destroy every teen

Footage of this guy is the best ISIS recruiting video ever.

“Honestly, yeah it’s terrible,” Paul said about his neighbors’ complaints. “It’s a bad situation. No, I feel bad for them, for sure. There’s nothing we can do, though. The Jake Paulers [Paul’s fans] are the strongest army out there. Dab.” And then he dabbed.

“former Vine star” explains so, so much about this.

And then he dabbed.

Pretty Pass Pierces Protection, Produces Pulisic Pirouette, Penalty

Hey, don’t blame Pulisic. He beat the defenders they put in front of him. When in Roma...

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Pulisic’s Pitch Performance Positively Proficient