I'm 28 and I feel like an old every fucking day.

I said translate, not obfuscate.

Can someone please translate for the old man in the room?

All the men in my family have a dangerously high pain tolerance. I once broke 3 knuckles and didn't realize it until a few weeks later when I was x-rayed for an unrelated broken wrist.

I never thought I was attractive enough to be a male model, but if these two trolls can do it why can't anyone?

Sure, but in the right measure.

I "tutored" athletes at a D1 school and was fired for refusing to write entire papers on behalf of students I'd never met.

Never have I been more proud to be a Packers fan. Hail Satan!

That's so true. When Bostick let the onside kick bounce off his face I threw my half-full pint glass clear across the living room and shouted, "get him off the team. Let's kill him. I wanna kill him!!!!"

I bet they don't have HDTV configured either, and look at you like you're a needy snob for mentioning how easy it would be to do.

Explain something that ESPN gets consistently wrong, and he'll think you have the football IQ of Vince Lombardi and want to be your friend.

My fiance's family (all of them) claim they love football, but gave me eye rolls for refusing to go see grandma during the GBvSEA game because, "do you really need to watch EVERY Sunday?"

I definitely thought you meant that a punter with only one hand made a great catch. Still cool, but not pirate punter cool.

Well...this post was paid for by Science Fiction.

Here you go:

I still love Favre, but I don't know anyone who thinks he was better than Rogders has been.

I like the Brewers, and wouldn't mind having an NHL or MLS franchise, but the Bucks need to go. They suck at a sport that sucks even harder.

Milwaukee native here:

brilliant

Exactly. Logic and common sense are called "mansplaining" over there because apparently logic and common sense are sexist or something.