I loved it when they toasted "To justice and all!" It was great even without the "And vampires!"

When I got engaged, money was very tight. So, my wife got a "cute" diamond ring that I could afford. It's small but she didn't seem to mind. Now, after 14 years I kept trying to get her to let me upgrade it. The only way she would agree was if I found a way to mount the original diamond into the new ring. I…

Not a thing I did, but a thing that was done in pursuit of getting in my pants. Also not super crazy, just completely ridiculous.

When I was 15 I used to steal my parents car in the middle of the night, drive 15 miles through LA to my girlfriend's apartment, where she would sneak up to the roof so as to avoid her ex naval officer father hearing us and subsequently murdering me, and have gross teenager sex until 6am. Then, because my girlfriend…

Went to a wedding with my ex.

Ok, I have always thought that my friend's wedding could be turned into a movie, and while not at the time, she now also completely agrees.

I can't believe your doctor said that! Ours usually just goes for "I'm going to look inside your underwear now" unless more specifics details are medically needed. He also usually adds a short lecture about how this is ok because he's the doctor and your parents are here but that it's never ok for someone to do this…

My Mother in Law tells one of my all-time favourite stories about this kind of thing:

Yes. Dear God yes.

Since this literally just happened to me and I'm recovering from a c-section after being discharged yesterday, I'm sort of vicariously excited to see what other people went through.

This story comes, as do most of my better ones, from my time working at Space Camp. I was working an adult weeklong camp during the off season and it came to the time of week when the campers participated in their extended mission which was eight hours long. I was working the SpaceHab area which is the self contained…

My boss sat the entire company down one morning in the boardroom for a very important meeting.

I was camping with my family in Goblin Valley in Utah when I was 14. My little sister was 4 at the time, and absolutely terrified of spiders. She would have night terrors about spiders, which she called Black Weirdos (any and all kinds of spiders). Funny to all of us, but not to her. (She also called skunks Forrest…

Yes, lol. He was giggling over his username choice when he told me to check out what he posted. He has a really good sense of humor about the whole thing (obviously), not only does he still want to do the sex with me after that incident, but he's laughing about the fact that I put it out there for the world to read.

*Sigh*