I have really got to tell Beatrix T. Cattenborough about this. She has been very recalcitrant re: learning to do tricks. Maybe if she feels competitive?

That dedicated and hardworking stripper is what will make America great again. “Revenge killing? Sorry. I have a job to do and by god I will do it.”

I did not even notice the couple kissing. I thought this was just about one woman’s true love for pizza.

yo but fuck her friend who’s like “umm, michelle? you’re on camera? aren’t you trying to be gluten-free? ummm sorry about my friend guys”

Her lips are Angelina Jolie’s.

Let’s all take a moment to remember Kylie’s old lips and Kim’s old face.

It takes a village.

BUT WHAT DOES KYLIE THINK?

Heheh.. it is the Allman Brothers... last name, Allman.

Sounds like a red flag to me, but if you trust him then there’s not much more you can do. Go out with your friends and have fun is probably the best answer I can think of.

I hate these people more and more every goddam year.

for you, boo

Gawker/Jezebel should restrict the use of the word shade to articles written/edited/review by her Woke Honor Judge Kara.

They come from a long tradition of brutal exploitation, so many people do not trust this new raison d’etre.

Yeah, in this case captivity is kind of necessary to keep the species going, unfortunately.

There are a couple hundred Malayan tigers left; just leaving them all where they live is maybe not the best way to still have Malayan tigers in ten years.

Fuck zoos.

I’ve gathered you’re quite popular around here, so I’m probably going to get my ass handed to me for even asking you this, BUT:

Evidently you don't realize that this is the only bar within walking distance to my house.

But then who would you all make sandwiches for?