I am laughing so hard right now.

I need that as like, a quilt.

I AM BETTER THAN THE COMPUTER! ALL HAIL YOUR MIGHTY NOT-ROBOT OVERLORD!

oooh dat little smirk doe.

17 looks a lot closer than 42, so I’m guessing you’re probably actually about 26.

It thinks I am a dude in any photo where it also thinks I am old. So that’s ... flattering.

Yes but which one is you I need details for my fanfic.

I always get told I look much younger than I am so I was more than a little shocked to get SEVENTY FOUR.

This is the second necklace I bought to commemorate a major surgery. It’s from Modcloth. I also have a choker that looks like “cut on the dotted line” in memory of my long-lost thyroid.

Thank you! They are a German brand called Brendel. I barely need glasses and didn’t think I could justify the $500 Tiffany frames my optometrist had.

Like come on. I don’t even have wrinkles.

omg those freckles are adorable

OMG YOU ARE SO GODDAMN CUTE STOP IT

I’m 42. None of the photos I’ve used have been close. My husband’s have all been exact.

My FB profile picture: 74 year old male. My LinkedIn photo: 25 year old female. I’m thinking it might be best to switch the two.

That’s been how I do my liner. Thicker on top and then just the outer corner of my lower lid. I feel really overdone if I do the whole bottom. My brows are gonna stay thick and fluffy though because I don’t really get the whole doing brows thing.

it’s a 160th trimester abortion is all.

That’s how I feel - it will take me like 30 minutes to pick one lipstick or nail polish even in the drugstore. I like getting samples to try out instead. And because my teenager’s skin tone is pretty much the opposite of mine, anything that hasn’t worked on me has worked well on her.

That is my moisturizer. LOVE it.

Hahaha what even? I am so confused by that!

Hahaha what even? I am so confused by that!