Can prevent armpit fires.

Car And Driver: Is electricity safe? Lt. Jim Dangle: At the time of this writing, there's simply no way to test that.

Bad news, bro, that is your Bronco...

This armpit is on fire!

LOOK HOW STARTLED HE WAS IN THAT LAST ONE

"your fucking retarded" Seems ironic, no, genius? Do you just have too much information in your head about parenting and the continued "wussification" of America to bother with grammar while you call people "retarded"?

So, I'm related to a vet who periodically has to extract things from dogs' stomachs, as vets are prone to do. One day, a woman comes in with a dog and says she thinks he ate something. My relative does an x-ray, says, yup, there's something fabric-y in there, we'll have to have it surgically removed. So the woman and…

Finally ! I can go down Lombard Street at 6: am in my Miura at 45 mph BEFORE having my cofee !

Thongs ARE always tying to invade my butthole. So, there's that.

why do dogs insist on eating your underwear?

<I deleted my dumb comment because it was dumb! Here are 2 gifs instead>

Approves

Here's hoping for four to five years!

Why does everyone who beats their kids assume that everyone who thinks they should does not have kids?

That's the best way to describe it, yeah. What the hell are you going to discipline a one year old for? Not being potty trained? Because they won't be. Not walking properly? Not feeding themself without making a mess? Holy shit! A parent punishes INTENT; not necessarily ACTION.

Really? It's dumb for me to say that physically disciplining a baby, who has no fucking concept of human words, much less "I'm doing this because you did that" connections is one lazy motherfucking way to be an adult with a child? There's no one year old in the world that deserves to have a hand laid on them!

Oh. You're crying because you're hungry? How about a knuckle sandwich?!