He also has drunk bloat or heart failure bloat. Please let it be heart failure.

Is being a Fredo worse than being a Frodo?

I’ll miss her pouty selfie most.

I’m sure he thinks she’s a fat-assed, tasteless, philandering con-man with the world’s worst comb-over who hates this country and all the idiots in it and is only in office for the sake of personal enrichment and because she takes pleasure in being sadistic to marginalized peoples.

If only we’d gotten those death panels for old white people that we were promised back in 2008. None of this would have ever happened.

He’s dancing around, flapping his arms and trying to distract you from the fact that the feds have just busted his fuckparty bestie for raping children at fuckparties with his besties.

Yes, you were an asshole to call me an asshole when I was being an asshole, asshole.

Okay, asshole.

The only way to stop a bad guy with a hateful rhetoric is a good guy with a hateful rhetoric.

Their other cat, Mong, is short for Mongolian Barbecue .... Sauce.

There’s a family out there grieving over the loss of a major revenue stream. This wasn’t a pet, it was a feline Kardashian. 

Yup, the cat was named Tard until there was a brand to protect.

Team Nobody.

Planning your own burial seems masturbatory. I’d love to see environmentally conscious individuals put the burial business out of business, starting with cemeteries and all their trappings.

2010: It gets better.

Team Nobody!

I believe there’s a direct correlation between Meghan’s too many girdles and her blanching outrage. If she’d let shit hang a little looser, she’d enjoy her mornings a little more.

So ready for it.

Jon may be a touch less inbred. A touch.