How long have you hated life?

I watched the Jussie Smollett clip. It’s not only hilarious, but a deadly rebuke to anyone who is still forcing themselves to be “ambiguous” about his ridiculous story at this point (and, honestly, anyone gullible enough to fall for it in the first place). No wonder it stung.

I’d not use Lyft except for the fact that every single Lyft ride I’ve ever gotten has been far superior to every single taxi ride I’ve ever gotten. Like, in every way and by a long shot. The cars are nicer, the drivers are nicer(and know where they’re going) and I’ve never had Lyft tell me ‘We don’t send cars there’…

...and, shameful as it seems in hindsight, we wished it was us.

It is most likely a few years too late for this movie but I could still do without such a lame ass woke review.

Look, I come to Deadspin for (among other things) the righteous takedowns of media outlets and figures for their hypocrisy and bullshit... but I kinda think you’re looking for something to get angry about here and missing the point.

How dare SI try something else to boost its dwindling readership and no longer write only serious sports pieces.

One of my favorite quotes.

Barstool sucks but deadspin pretending it is a moral authority on everything the last two years has been equally annoying.

Also, Magary: Barstool, for the most part, sucks, but you don’t understand what virtue signaling means.

At this point Barstool is a large, successful corporation. Hammering on the meme that it’s the same bunch of racist morons in a basement that it was in 2011 makes you sound like an old man, Drew.

quote: “There’s Something About Mary, a movie whose most famous laugh line revolves around a woman unknowingly smearing cum in her hair, which was played as hilarious rather than the creepy violation that it would be in reality” 
Oh my goodness.
Did your pearls crack as you typed those words? The horror of dirty comedy,…

Jesus Christ people, you talk about Green Book like it’s 90 minutes of white guys burning crosses. If you don’t think it was the best movie released in 2018 that’s fine, but it is thoroughly serviceable and has a message that is at least attempting to be positive. The white character is depicted as a racist ass for…

It’s all here, brother

Never under estimate the power of tree fiddy. #SouthPark

Has anyone heard the Nigerian brothers speak? Did they grow up in the States? I’m just wondering if they have that exaggerated, guttural, African accent like M’Baku from Black Panther. “DIS IS MAGA CON-TREE!”

Yes, it’s true. This man has no dick.

He even wrote “for fake hate crime” in the memo line!

So in the future I’d really like to see media sites wait a minute for the situation to become clearer before immediately landing on a position and then doubling down.

I recently pummeled my testes with a bag of marbles because I was dissatisfied with the Keurig flavors the admin has been buying for the breakroom.