Next time just shoot them.

We live in a pretty nice area of town, we get hundreds of kids and they make out like bandits.

Butter was fantastic.

Alternatively, I will give you ten bucks for a haircut.

Snickers.

Just grab ‘em by the toe shoes.

I don’t think you understand. I’m advocating for a constitutional amendment that will allow us to suckerpunch man bun wearers.

“nice hipster man-bun”

Fuckin’ cats. ;(

It also helps distract from the fact they live in 10,000+ square feet houses.

Yeah, little dudes have a hard time finding partners because they all have huge dicks.

Our local pediatric dentists give the best goddamn candy. We’re talking multiple full sized candy bars. And none of that Milky Way crap.

She’s a very disturbed young woman.

Her talent is wasted writing about anyone but Joan Cusack.

The worst part is that she’s a very good writer.

Oh, I’m not saying to not enjoy it.  

I have a lady friend who writes lesbian bdsm Sarah Palin fiction. She’s super-duper liberal. There’s no accounting for taste.

Fuck Ana Navarro. She’s still a Republican talking head.

Righto, MaryLu.

There’s porn for that.