They really don’t want to get married and this is just a bullshit excuse.

The type of toilet paper in the executive washroom. Whether-or-not her coffee is made from beans extracted from a civet’s colon. That sort of thing.

Thanks, Hamno.

I can see it.

Thanks, I was pretty shaken by the kitty pic.

Nothing you say will ever redeem you.

That’s a quote.

Unpopular opinion. Pugs are ugly little freak dogs and their owners are weird as hell.

How could they have been anything other than dreck? Madonna didn’t wash her armpits in a public toilet in either of those movies.

Same for Desperately Seeking Susan.

This is, possibly, the least surprising thing you’ve ever written.

I hear Donald Trump is available.

I was all “wtf are you talking about”, then I was all “oh”.

“Also, uh, Indian is not the preferred nomenclature...”

True.

lol

I knew she was up to no good.

Only by mentally challenged Gawker commenters.

I’m way too drunk to get caught .

I know what I’m doing tonight.