It’s Tomato Face.

I recognize 0% of these names.

“sidewalk”

Bitch, please. Everyone knows those are units of time.

No, but a third of a cord is a rick.

Naw, it was just a plain old flatbed, so we could only get about half of it to slide off by reversing really fast and braking. Took a good five minutes.

It’s in the fucking article you apparently didn’t read.

Yeah, a cord of wood is bigger than you think. It also weighs anywhere from 2,000 to 4,000 pounds, depending on the variety of wood. The most I’ve seen stacked in a pickup for hauling on public roads was 3/4 of a cord. We used to haul 4 1/2 to 5 cord in an IH 1600. Which took me and my two cousins four hours to fill.

How many gills is that?

But, do you know how many cords your truck can haul? Anything less than 3/4 and I’m going to suspect you’re French.

That’s just over one cord of firewood, or a stack of wood four feet wide, four feet high, and eight feet long.

Pretty sure you imagined that.

I had no idea he was closeted until just recently.

I voted for dragging him to the sidewalk and executing him gangland style.

Go on...

I would be totally fine if they shot him.

That’s it. I’m burning Mar-A-Lago to the ground.

By being an adult who is in control of my emotions.

Does it hurt to be that fucking stupid?

It’s cool, society made them do it.