Turn on yer teevee if you really want to know. No one can explain years of shenanigans to you cause we’re to busy speculating, trash talking, laughing and poking fun at them, whoever they are...

That face on Ramona made me ten kinds of jealous y’all, just sayin’.

Dorinda just seems sad to me. I want to give her a hug, tell her it’s okay to still be grieving but dump that douche because she deserves better.

You know, I’ve felt for Bethenny and her ladybits issues, having had some myself. The thought of walking around in my scanties on national television when dealing with intermittently opening floodgates boggles my mind. There’s no tampon powerful enough.

My guess?

I heart Jules so much! She gets giddy when she has time away from being a mother with no parenting help from her shady husband, and her personality is lovely. I think she would be my good friend if we met in real life, and we would go out and talk and drink wine and not eat (I don’t eat either).

Look if you’re going to hang out on Jezebel you have to at least watch one episode of the Housewives series. It’s our method of hazing.

I have long advocated crossover shows. Force the NY and NJ casts to vacation together. Survivor: Nene and Vicki Edition. Have LVP open a restaurant in NYC that Sonja can’t stop coming into and getting falling down drunk in.

Ahh, Jacques! He was adorable. Remember when he and LuAnn pretended they were thinking of having a baby? Ha! Was that the same season that Ramona took a pregnancy test in the middle of a party? God, I couldn’t even type that without laughing.

To be fair, they have the same brows.

Jesus, even the throwaway lines were perfection! Sonja poking fun at Romona for wearing yet another macrame dress on vacation killed me.

HAHAHAHAHAHA. Lord, I had forgotten about that. I can handle Jill in pictures, but when I hear her speak? Shut it down, dealbreaker.

You know what would make a shit-storm of a show? Ramona and Tamra... two women with no souls... on ONE SHOW! BAM! Thank you, and have a good night.

Honestly this whole time I’ve wondered if Tom is a plant. It’s almost too perfect that he has a past with half of them. And it does make for good television, because without this plotline, I don’t know what this season has really had. The producers et al certainly are not blind to this.

How about when Bethany’s being all annoying and saying ‘well if they’re this late they better show up looking like Linda Evangelista and Stephanie Seymour or they can take a walk” and Sonja just sweetly sighs away they line.... “well they’ll be taking a walk then”.

If you’re going to act like an old troll at least give me some pizza.