I only ever tuned in at the end, when the contestants sang and then had hatchet fights to the death.

Real tragedy about what happened to her shoulder.

I kind of want the Rock to bench press me.

And white girls respond:

People like Kendall are why I have a drinking problem.

PREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACH MY SISTAHHHHHHHHHHHH OR MISTAHHHHHHHH

I AM CRYINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Their lawyers assured me that their kidneys are supposed to be in their chest. It saves them in breast implants.

Yeah, it’s pretty unhealthy to work out in those. They squash your organs and keep you from breathing correctly. No bueno.

Never heard of a “waist trainer” but I have heard of a corset. That is a corset. There’s nothing sane about working out in a corset.

I do not care for this trend of popstars wearing these high waisted panties with tights underneath. Hilary Duff is no exception. She and all the rest of them are invited to get off my lawn, despite the fact that Hilary Duff is actually older than I am.

Nope. It’s a damn good movie, and it’s not the fault of the movie that idiots wear the mask and have no idea who Guy Fawkes, attempted murderer, was.

I think Vera Farmiga (The Departed) looks a lot like her in the pic

I don’t think Portman is way off in terms of resemblance.

Natalie got it all over Sam...

NO IT IS NOT I WILL FIGHT YOU, NATASHA.

I have read these sentences three times and it continues to make no sense. Could someone explain what is happening here because I just don't understand.

oh shit