First and most importantly, as a former pizza delivery person fuck those cheap entitled assholes.

I have a hard time believing that this fire-haired porcelain goddess is even from the same species as a sweaty, beer-bellied bag of garbage such as myself. She's my current relationship free pass. (GF gets Idris.)

I'm right there with you, Mark. I'm sitting on my couch, drinking Laphroaig, binge watching Brooklyn 99 by myself - and my husband wants me to wake him up at midnight.

Richard and Emily forever FUCK Pennilyn Lott

This makes me very sad.

jfc like how is this the hill people are choosing to die on

My 13 year old daughter told me to stop using emojiis when I text her. She said "I really don't think of you as an emojii person" i.e. "you're OLD, mom".

Nobody cares about Taylor Swift having black friends.

What a shame that Taylor Swift didn't check with Jezebel writers before assembling her "posse." I understand that as a public figure it's her job to have big issues projected onto her very narrow slice of life, but the insinuation (and there *is* insinuation here that Taylor Swift is racist) is unambiguously mean.

Fucking love this woman.

Similar but I actually waited until college so I was 19. Don't remember him, it was painful and awful. But I just decided I wanted to be done with it, but I got rid of it like a bad headache and I wish I had treated myself a little kinder.

As a gay I'm also super duper duper offended by this and . . . naw, actually, I literally had to hold my hand over my mouth because I'm at work and I didn't want people to hear me laughing.

I asked him what happened when we got out of the elevator. He told me he was terrified because security was there.

Swift is just mentoring, not judging. So she'll show up from time to time to offer encouragement and cookies and to remind us she has a new album. Also a mentor: Gavin Rossdale, who will teach the contestants about marrying up.

I know! Such a refreshing narrative. Much better than the "I'm just one of the guys" crap that you hear from so many women her age.

I absolutely love what Taylor's been up to lately. I know some people think she's pushing the ya ya sisterhood thing a little too much, but building up that network of friends and making them the "family you chose" is so much a part of being in your twenties. What I think is even better is that every time she talks…

Yep yep yep. It's not the fear of persecution, it's the fear of having one's true identity undermined by the presumption that gays are BDSM freaks who love all-things-fabulous.

Spoilers:

i do not presume to know what anyone else's definition of "feminism" or any other "ism" may be for them. i, at the core, disagree with the mocking. that's the end of it.

Making fun of - Botox/the system that promotes forever young beauty/the system that won't allow women to age with grace/the system that has no reverence for the wisdom that comes along with age - is one thing, making fun of the women who participate in that system is another. It is not feminist to tear another woman…