How is this drivel not in the gray? And why call out people who like to watch their foot in an article about Roger Goodell? If people aren't supposed to watch their foot, then what the fuck am I supposed to do with my Tuesday afternoons?

I'm not trying to be a dick. I'm guessing you're under 30. There's no way you're over 35. U2's most interesting stuff was The Unforgettable Fire and everything earlier. Their first four albums changed the lives of every disenchanted American white kid born between 1967 and 1972. After that they just became a pop band…

He's aiming at God, the only person who could judge him.

[Jason Whitlock weighs in on Roger Goodell]

I love that you linked to his cereal list (Cheerios are the poop of Satan).

In or about December 2013, while discussing Castergine's bonus, Wilpon told Castergine that she should tell her boyfriend that when she gets a ring, she will make more money and get a bigger bonus.

You know he's a real dickhead because he used the correct pluralization of attorney general.

I'm no expert, but if I'm a betting man my money's on the NFL using the "seriously, who the fuck has a VCR anymore?" defense.

BREAKING: the NFL has hastily and retroactively promoted Cardinals linebacker John Abraham to executive.

Oh good; I've actually had someone try to argue that Achtung Baby is only a popular album, not actually a good one. I backed away slowly from that argument.

1. If jet fuel doesn't burn hot enough to melt steel, then how di-

"Zoo-whatnow?"

Just to set the baseline here, consider that I think Achtung Baby is the best U2 album. Adjust your expectations accordingly.

But he's not someone who comes to mind when you think of repeated shots to the head

what idiot said luol had a little african in him instead of calling it deng gay fever?

The most disgusting part of this is that Michael Gearon still thinks it's okay to own minorities.

I don't know if this really fits in here, but the aspect of law enforcement and its obligations to provide evidence to the parties ends up implicating some interesting constitutional issues. Putting aside the issue of whether any third party has "standing" to receive these materials—and I'm loathe to invite any jokes…

"Yeah, you know what Roger, that excuse fucking stinks."

There was also a version where a pie chart was used, but it didn't last long.

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