Sumner Redstone, a glorified conman? Oh, the surprise! I'm DYING from the surprise over here!

Here's a special event for Valentine's Day: Make all the enemies hug you instead of slaughtering you messily so you can have a slim chance of winning the game. Maybe they can make the dragons shoot rainbows while they're at it.

I predict disaster (and much flailing) ahead.

Horny manatees, trying to get out of your Wii so they can touch your child's wee? Heidi Hemmat reports.

@hubris: That's the news report I want to see.

@Cake Tank!: I'm saving up for The Bonfire of the Vanities.

Wow, that's pretty rough. I had high hopes for this one, especially after reading some of the reviews. Oh well, I guess that's what the GameFly account is for...

@Ackers thanks Brian Ashcraft: Yeah, it's like a Max-iPad.

@SpiritThief: I don't see the point of making every waking moment of a prisoner's life miserable. You poke at an animal with a sharp stick long enough, and he'll tear you to shreds the second you open his cage. A lot of these guys *will* be getting out eventually... it's better not to give them a reason to hold a…

@Swirlbeard: I'm surprised they don't poke them with sticks periodically. "You can't SLEEP! It's an addictive escape behavior!"

All this guy needs now is a rotating text scroll around his head that reads "What I thought I'd do is pretend I'm selling better than the PSP Go."

I would have rather this gone to Assassin's Creed II, but Uncharted 2 is a decent choice. Thanks for not picking Demon's Souls.

Mmm, smug superiority. This guy probably thinks of us as a bunch of losers living in our parents' basements, playing video games with one hand while stuffing Cheetos in our mouths with the other. Well, he's WRONG. I live upstairs, and prefer Doritos.

In light of recent events, they really, REALLY need to add Freebird to that list. Team Conan for life, y'all!

Why I shouldn't care... no joystick. No joystick, no sale.

In the wise words of Ben Stiller, "Reality bites."

@Piccoroz: Yes, YES! This is exactly what I want, a device that plugs into existing iPhones. The input should be standardized by Apple so controllers by different companies have the same functionality, and games can have the option to either support the controller or touchscreen input. Games like Pac-Man…

This is screwed up in the best possible way.

Just release a fucking joystick for this thing. Is that too much to ask? I mean, really. It's got a port on the bottom of the system... it can't be that hard to add support for a game controller. People are trying to address the limitations of the system not by the most logical means, but by clumsy workarounds,…

I'd say wait another year to release Rock Band 3 and give us a couple of band-themed Rock Band titles. Beatles: Rock Band was great, but could you imagine how utterly epic Rush: Rock Band would be? Heck, I'd settle for Queen: Rock Band.