I would gladly pay a The Athletic-type subscription fee to Deadspin if it guaranteed me a weekly segment of this stupidly perfect show.

I think you mean Old Ben 9ine’s ranch

I think you mean 24our/7even

I can’t believe the Patriots went to all this trouble to beat the Dolphins.

Serious question: Do you like cheering for plays as they happen, or do you prefer to sit in silence for 6 minutes and then politely clap after they determine the outcome of a play?
Followup: How much do you love sniffing your own farts?

thx for the “figuratively”

Gabe this is called the monkey tail, not a “g-shape.”

Guys, there are times to take a principled stand, but let’s be real. When you’re facing the 2019 Dolphins, it’s all hands on deck. You’re just trying to keep it close out there, and hope for the best.

Let me help you out a little with some new names:

Ha! Jerry Jones was my inspiration for Walder Frey. 

I gotta come back here for one more thing:

Obviously Dean Spanos is Lord Varys, since he got his balls chopped off by Stan Kroenke and Jerry Jones.

Funny, he’s also known as the only guy who can prevent another Giants Super Bowl victory.

That would be Rex, not Bob. 

Jesus Christ, forgot him. How did the NE manage to pull this off? And that was a rhetorical question as even as a Pats fan I’m not completely ignoring the possibility of a satanic deal there.

Is this the appropriate place to request that Mr. Magary does a do-over of the “Why Your Team Sucks 2019: Raiders, Steelers and Patriots” entries right now?

And the only thing that can prevent another Patriots Super Bowl victory? This man:

BRB, going through every article written about AB over the last two months and faving all the Steelers fans’ smug comments.

This league is 31 Ned Starks and 1 Tywin Lannister.