“I will never, ever take HRT.”

I (a woman, despite the username) intentionally undertrain my biceps because the suckers get huge with very little stimulation. I don’t have an aversion to muscle but it’s disproportionate to the rest of my upper body and while I’m not knocking it, “professional arm wrestler” is not my desired physique.

Swatting sites are a thing? People know that’s illegal, right?

I ain’t mad at her. If anyone deserves a sweet endorsement deal... .

Ugh. When your notice your typo in a post about accuracy after the editing window closed. The shame, the shame!

I was eliminated from the city-wide spelling bee in the 6th grade for spelling amok as A-M-U-C-K, which is now an “accepted alternate spelling.” My bitter lesson in “language evolves!” meaning “if enough people can’t bother to get it right, we’ll just start relabel wrong as right.”

The people who scream at you to “do some research!” when you mention how awesome it is to not die of polio.

I like diffusing essential oils because they smell good and you can customize the scent blend. I don’t believe essential oils will cure hepatitis (actual claim viewed) but Pinterest’s algorithm doesn’t make the distinction. I made the mistake of pinning some blend recipes and now my feed is so full of woo I can’t…

LOL it was over a year ago and I was high. So I don’t really remember other than it freaked me out. He’s ruthless but I feel like it had to have been more. The only other thing I’ve watched while high that freaked me out so much was the sleep demon episode of The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina.

I watched the first episode of the first season while high and it scared the shit out of me.

I once asked a dietitian if she’d rather I eat my broccoli with butter on it or not at all and she said with butter. 

Huh. People say tech makes my job “obsolete.” Yet every time someone says that, 5 items magically appear on my to do list. :)

My dad had a cushy stateside assignment in 1969 and actually volunteered for a tour in Vietnam because his marriage was so miserable.

Unless it responds by calling me a “fucking retarded lesbian,” the bot overestimates who I’ve broken up with.

I’ve never had to invoke it, but I knew it would be a deal breaker when a yellow Corvette trailed behind me, but in the left lane (I was in the right because zero traffic), for literally 30 miles before finally passing me. When I looked over because I wanted to know what he looked like, his wife/girlfriend/whatever…

I was not checking the beer aisle as child. But I’d bet $50 there are more and better brands of domestic beer in most supermarkets today than in the 80s. I like in the sticks and still can’t spit without hitting a brewery. I am skeptical of the claim that beer is dying.

Millennials are killing beer? Than who’s making/drinking the 85 brands of microbrew on sale at my supermarket?

Cruising in the passing lane.

My deal breaker is crying over someone buying you lunch. You know you dodged a bullet, right?

And you can get them outright excused if you’re terminally ill.