Well, it wasn’t the best, but my 6th birthday party where my 11 year-old-brother punched one of my friends, another tore herself up on the barbed-wire fence* and had to get first aid from my veterinarian father, and my neighbor rode his bike into my ribcage was pretty memorable. It was two years before anyone was…

Every single time I have ever gone to a CVS pharmacy, they have fucked up in some way. Even just buying Sudafed, I was given the wrong kind (they gave me the kind with naproxen in it.) Their raison d’etre is to fuck with people and make getting meds more difficult than it should be so...big shock. :/

You would get along well with my stepmother, who insists that seasoning your food is an insult to the chef. (Never mind that if she put some fucking seasoning on her food while cooking it, I wouldn’t have to.)

We stole a pizza pan from Round Table, spent two years drawing all over it with Sharpies, then left it on the table after our graduation party there.

See also: women who tell you they’re classy. 

Maybe not in his home. Someone who says this is revealing very telling things about his family life and what he views as normal behavior.

I hesitate to accuse people of criminal activity out of spite, but the fuck this guy; he’s bringing it on himself: we wouldn’t have HIS kids without rape. Anyone who would say this would happily do it.

It’s like they don’t even realize we talking about them when we said “your party has problem when someone says ‘the rape guy’ and someone else has to ask ‘which one?’”

“The human race would die out without rape.”

I just saw her in an old Magnum PI last week. She couldn’t have been older than 12.

Rumor has it that clashing with co-workers got her shitcanned from Charmed, as well. Nevertheless, Prue was the best character and I only watch the first three seasons on Netflix. 

I read a lot of fitness books and and I hate books that tell me to do this. Sooooo...either have a home gym equipped with a squat rack, plated loaded leg press, and lat pulldown machine or treat a commercial gym like I own it and to hell with everyone else paying to use it?

Watch it, those are my peeps.

Herring chokers.

“People don’t need a reason to kill each other. You seen the Irish? THEY’RE ALL IRISH!”

I was accused of using a racial slur for calling someone a guido. I don’t remember who. I responded with “something something limeys and herring chokers.” Because I keep a mental list of ways to slur “white” nationalities and ethnicities. Because it amuses me.

Because they have zero influence on you - losing your cool proves you are a Fredo.

My experience is that fellow women can ABSOLUTELY be condescending, insufferable, know-it-all, PITAs. And the worst female mansplainer I know will also also beat you over the head with her feminism when you point out that she’s mansplaining. Observation across sexes: the more certainty with which one speaks on a…

Preface: Despite the username, I am a woman.

It’s super funny how my friends who know I hate pumpkin flood my feed with pumpkin spice products EVERY FUCKING YEAR. (Seriously guys, it was cute the first time but... .)