No story. I was joking. But it does seem plausible.

How about, to be safe, don’t post any pictures of your kid on facebook? I’m sure your friends, and eventually your kid, will be thankful.

He’s a professional boxer, probably the third most famous boxer currently fighting after Mayweather and Pacquiao.

Got two slices of pizza for lunch. Buffalo chicken and Hawaiian. Ate the buffalo chicken first, which was basically the most perfect slice of pizza ever. Then the Hawaiian: It was bad, and ruined both my entire afternoon and the glorious flavor the buffalo chicken injected. Should I have eaten them in reverse order?…

Now if you gave me a metal baseball bat, now we're in business.

I’m an associate attorney at a large family law firm. I spend an inordinate amount of time (for which I’m billing) combing through facebook and instagram profiles looking for bad shit my client’s ex and my client post on the internet.

This is still more entertaining to watch than Mike Pettine's new Instagram video, "Stickin to the original depth chart for no reason with #joshmccown."

Did you miss the part where he went to inpatient rehab for alcohol abuse?

Unless you get a stain on them, men’s jeans never, ever need to be washed.

Well, he ain’t Lion’.

It’s like watching two robots with no sense of humor trying to be funny.

Absolutely shocking, almost a week later. People wear button down shirts to UFC events?

Apparently, the other person that was going to play Peter Quill was Glenn Howerton, thus depriving us of explanations of The S.T.A.R.L.O.R.D. System and discussions of implications.

It’s not really on display here, but is anyone else getting tired of Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s smiley, old-timey Hollywood schtick?.

I love that they hide they uniforms for the other games.

Flutie’s dad was long rumored to have a better arm than Doug, but who knew his mother was also better at passing.

Say what you will about Guy Fieri, but that man is living his best life. Look at that man’s happiness! He exudes pure, unbridled joy! I don’t get it, but I’m not gonna knock him for it.

[15 minutes later]

Without question, the best part of this video is when the officers lol when they find out Cardale is the one picking him up at the police station.

I think you mean “By the C” amirite?