I rarely use my food processor, either. I like to have things chopped uniformly because I’m a bit of a kitchen control freak. With a big cutting board, you don’t need to dirty a lot of bowls, just make piles as you chop.
Pie crust I actually make with my hands a la Chez Pim. It’s awesome.

My parents put in a Thermador…

We were on a road trip once, in the middle of the night and the middle of nowhere. We saw a deer in the passing lane, so the driver tapped the brakes and flashed his left blinker a few times to warn the car behind us. The car behind us pulled out into the passing lane and gunned it straight into the deer at 75 mph.…