It looks to me like Poppy is the one stretching and straining. Paris is no match for Poppy's great thirst.

With Poppy Delevingne as part of the conversation? Infinity is far too small a number.

May middle-aged white women listen to Tupac on their iPods if no one else knows? Asking for a friend.

Hi, Jamaica!

Allow me . . . I've heard this song about a million times and there's no sex going on in my house right now.

What I discovered from the 2014 election in Kansas was that people who didn't like either candidate just didn't vote. This normally isn't a big deal in very-red Kansas, but in that case, wacko Sam Brownback defeated his opponent by a slim margin.

Pepes live long and strong on my 12-year-old daughter's Instagram direct messages.

Middle America rejects your stereotype. I am a couple of hundred miles from the geographical center of the lower 48 and I know no one who supports Trump. If memory serves, the most horrible, vociferously vocal Trump supporters have been along the east coast.

The French make often well-deserved fun of America's prudishness, but the one thing they'll never understand (it seems) is the notion that there are women in the world who don't want to dress/eat/fuck/live like a French woman.

Amen! And I love your name - clever!!!

Joseph Goerbells? Kids, stay in school!

Are we stuttering?

Exactly. JLaw was hacked for fappability; the purpose behind Leslie's treatment is a lesson for an uppity black woman. The two cases could not be more distinguishable.

Same. I've been commenting for seven years (Jesus) and have, at various times, been starred, accepted, whatever. I've decided to just dwell in the greys forever. I think it's where I belong.

Good point. If I can keep my Kindle, I may want to stay a few days, regardless.

Do you think Det. Loya is asking Kobe if he (Loya) can carry his own testicles since clearly Kobe has hold of them?

I'll buy the first round!

And if they only knew that their teen granddaughter has "come out" to me as bisexual recently. I said, "Way to double your chances for a date on the weekend!" while thinking how much fun it would be to tell the grandparents.

Except it's more like my in-laws, fairly wealthy western Kansas farmers who see the Democrats and progressives as bringing with them all the things that don't make sense to them - gay marriage, transgender rights, no prayer in public school, whites mixing with blacks, feminism, etc. This stuff terrifies them and they…

"The 12-year-old sex tiger was brought to the Zoo on a “breeding recommendation,” despite the fact that he has yet to reproduce"