No its because she has the best plastic surgeons money can buy.   Her face looks so smooth, I thought she was an early host model from Westworld

actually age is the great equalizer, but that truth is too harsh for madonna to admit to herself in a bathtub

I’m not one of those people who calls for guillotines every time some celebrity does something stupid and out of touch, but Jesus fucking Christ

“Where we are right now feels a lot too close to Marshall Law...”

that’s the can-do mindset that already got him herpes

See? You kept claiming Boomers were going to be the cause of the end of the world but we told you it was those damn Millennials! WE TOLD YOU!

I’m not saying America has the dumbest people in the world. But it’s a big country and so many of them treat stupidity like a virtue.

First of all, “Because this is America. And I’ll do what I want” is literally untrue when it comes to public health issues. Governments across the country have the ability to quarantine people, restrict their movements, take their passports, and force them to take medicine at certain times. For instance, if they are…

This episode of LWT - however poignant - just goes to show how much of comedy relies upon the interplay between a comedian and their audience. Jokes without laughs - no matter how good - just don’t work at all. It all becomes as stiff and unemotional as John Oliver’s often-lampooned version of England.

Not to mention you have your alibi:

Tell him it will revitalize his essential life energy (He really believes that crap) but only if you shine it directly in his eyes.

Why do you have to tell him anything beyond the truth?  This is the same guy that looked directly at an eclipse.  Just tell him it’s dangerous to look at the beam and wait for him to do the inevitable. 

You could probably set fire to his stupid roadkill hair from half a mile away.

As usual, XKCD explained it best:

Unless you are a republican. Then you call it the Wuhan virus or the Chinese virus. Surprised someone hasn’t labeled it the Socialist Virus.

That’s WHO calling it that, not just Americans.

That’s actually the cure!

Suck on a lime for the cure - wouldn’t that be the day! Like one of those alien invasion movies where, after helplessly using all kinds of weapons, all this time we just had to play music or spray water on them and their heads would explode!

We don’t call it Corona because we can’t put a lime in it.

1. We are morons and cannot spell.