If I ever enter into a relationship with a real life human female, I shall come back to this article, read it, and then attempt to impress said real life human female by cooking risotto.

Bikram yoga while wearing a cowboy hat and designer underpants.

[takes a shot]

Hawk: "C'mere boy! Come pull your grandpa's finger."

+1

Me siento honrado.

Will do!!

Ugh, that's disgustingly amateurish. How could someone let that happen?

There's no reason to be scared, this picture is obviously photoshopped.

A-Rod: "You guys know how to play 'La Bamba'?"

"You motherfucker."

positively hiss-terical!

+1

Why is that bear circumcised? Do they practice genital mutilation in Bear Land?

I eat pizza with my feet and then I excrete it through my eye sockets.

Stay passy, Khyber.

This is the best Bear of the Year award not sponsored by the Tom of Finland Foundation.

Pau is good around the rim. (that's another gay sex reference btw)

Winning this award is a surefire way to get into the prestigious Bicycle-Riding Bears Who Eat Monkeys Guild.

I can bang guys