"Aw, I'm sorry — I thought we were negotiating! That was fine for an opening bid, but ..."

You should have gone to the bathroom and said "I'll send you something too", then sent him a picture of a bigger dick.

I can find a million reasons to hate on Kimye, but the fact that he genuinely seems to love and respect her (even when I personally find her undeserving of the "respect" portion in particular)... that is not something I can hate on. I'm just a sap for a good love story I guess.

Isn't there a foundation or charity that could we could donate a new, unwrapped sex toy to for a deserving recipient?

My boyfriend of a year repeatedly refuses to wear a helmet while cycling, despite owning one. He knows that my friend's boyfriend died when he was hit by a car a year ago, and that she was suicidal for months afterwards. She had to move back in with her parents, and still lives with them, heavily medicated.

Thank you. Saturday night social and Sunday night sign off are the only time during the week where I feel like I can be honest with myself about my life and it's imperfections.

Something fantastic happened this week and I feel compelled to share!

I've been lonely this weekend. Dude had plans with someone else so I didn't go up and stay with him. The plans with his roommate ended up also including something he and I do on Sundays which makes the activity feel less special. Really I need to get a life. People to hang out with, things to do. But too many years of…

This photo is about 2 years old but is perfect for this article.

Not like those basic bitch cats that will tear up some Meow Mix and think they are all fancy and shit.

When my Pumpkin was alive it was tuna water for her and that little bitch was fussy as hell about her tuna water. The moment she heard the automatic can opener start she would run into the kitchen as if her fur had been set on fire. If I didn't leave her some of that water in the can she would be mighty upset with me.…

It's funny, but I think the cat did win in the end because it got to eat the ham. I think the moral of the story is that life sucks, sometimes you look stupid, but at the end of the day it can all be solved with some delicious food (this assumes that ham is delicious to cats, it is not delicious to me I would rather…

Burn that bridge. I am willing to supply the kerosene and match. Seriously speaking, it's the only way for you to move on, and it's hard to do so with that emotional barnacle clinging to you.

Sounds like you need to do the bridge-burning. If his ideal involves you changing yourself, then forget that guy.

You're no longer banging this assbag.

You should be cheery mainly because he's leaving your life. You're lucky.

I consider that an insult to sheep.

I never tire of Victorian history. They were freaky peoples.

Corsets actually helped a lot of women with back and breast support. Lacing so tight you can't breath is optional!