“PAY ATTENTION TO ME!”

I agree it doesn’t look great, but it can disguise an already boxy shape and make it look deliberate. I’ll take advantage of this fashion trickery while I can. You can have all the foods for lunch! I prefer these dresses with spaghetti straps though.

(What if it had eaten the shell and left the turtle?)

You can improve yourself at the gym in many ways that aren’t about physical appearance. I know who I am and what I meant. How fun for you that you got to ride your high horse today.

I’m speaking in general. Some people go to the gym because they feel there’s something they want to “improve” about themselves and some people go because they want to challenge themselves, like I said. This is semantics and I obviously wasn’t implying that there was something wrong with her body. Choose a word for me…

You’re right, this is the best case scenario. I envy that kind of confidence.

It reminds me of the time a cousin of a friend joined an after party at our place and proceeded to spew a bunch of racist BS. When everyone turned on him, he was shocked because he thought he was in a safe place “among friends” and that everyone is a racist in the comfort of their own home.

I’d like to think that she’ll never know because the alternative is heart breaking. Imagine going to the gym to improve or challenge yourself and you get laughed at by a fucking Playmate. If she does find out and speaks up, I hope she gets a big payout and lots of internet love.

Chapter 4: Always Feign Confusion to Avoid Questions

“If her daughters had been armed, this wouldn’t have happened.”

I’m sorry you have first hand knowledge of the dangers of the world.

My parents live in Florida during the winter months and I fear for them all the time. My mom once fed a lizard to an alligator in the body of water behind their house. Behind their house! I tell them that they need to be careful but they think I’m being hilarious. I imagine this is what parenting will be like.

The tongue thing is just exhausting at this point. Even she looks sick of it in that pic. That, and hearing her talk about marijuana like she discovered it.

Thanks for the tip! The last time I watched MTV my brain cells were getting demolished by Jersey Shore.

Ahhh, ok I get it I get it. Thank you, presumably youthful explainer of all things current. Wait - MTV is still a channel? Are they still pimping rides and punking Mandy Moore? I hope so... *falls asleep content with what I’ve learned today*

This show is still on the air? If it’s been 6 years since the first one, why is it still Teen Mom 2? What a confusing Tuesday.

All but one of my friends is a new mom. I don’t mind that our get togethers are basically play dates because I love them and their kids, but there are a few of our friends who have stopped showing up/being invited because they can’t relate to that world. The single friends judge the parent friends for not being “cool”…

May he end up on Bachelor in Paradise. It is his destiny.

She’s supposed to be the step parent or new girlfriend. Otherwise, she would’ve had the kid on the left when she was like 14.

I’m looking forward to watching past seasons and reading the old articles. Wait... DO THEY DO THIS FOR BACHELOR IN PARADISE TOO?!