Well, then, he’s probably bald as fuck.

HOLY SHIT I was not ready for that Curt Schilling meme. I definitely just busted out in laughter in the middle of an office and now I have to close Deadspin very quickly

If I had the means, every bowel movement would be followed with a light eucalyptus spritz administered by an English butler, followed by a robot dog licking the area clean. And then, I get a cupcake.

Very good point. It would also take Mark Davis outmaneuvering Jerry, which is laughably doubtful. Even if Mark has had his medicine and Jerry is halfway around the world knee deep in cocaine and sex workers there is no way trust-fund Lloyd Christmas pulls that off.

Donald Trump thinks an erotic essay is a Mexican porn star.

Never forget:

When a politician “panders” to his/her “base” it is rightfully seen as cheesy, calculated and at times, unethical.

One of my favorite books as a kid was Caps for Sale. I was not a cool kid.

Understanding the Finals are butt: can we talk for a minute about the optics of half of the lower bowl pouring out of the arena with like 3 minutes to play last night?