yeah I hate to be so pessimistic but modeling agencies will just have doctors who will write anyone a good health certificate on speed dial.

Is it possible she’s an asshole and her PR team is sabotaging her because they know she won’t know any better? Because how is it possible they are THIS BAD at their jobs?

Freelance chicken themed romance novelist is the kind of thing my guidance councilor never told me about. YOU my friend are living the dream.

working in advertising this is simultaneously making me roll my eyes and envy the copywriters who got the assignment.

All kinds of weird stuff DOES happen to your face/body when pregnant. Of course Beyonce would get all the weird side effects that make you hotter. sigh.

It’s called dressing for the job you WANT. Which is exactly why I also always dress like an evil intergalactic queen at corporate functions.

would watch, though, tbh

For whatever reason, when I read Jennifer Lawrence was playing a russian spy my sleep deprived brain thought you meant Jennifer Hudson. I clicked the link all excitedly like, hell yeah I’d watch that, I don’t really get it but I would watch it... only to be disappointed. Someone cast Jennifer Hudson as a spy now, plz.

the seemingly unironic conch shell! LOLLLLL! I am so glad I’m not the only one who is addicted to this story.

It’s a very worthwhile message but I think the egg metaphor is getting belabored.

:(

Oh man I can’t believe it but this is pretty funny. So many Billy Madison references.

she was right because addicts can spot one another.

Only conversational. I’m nowhere near fluent.

Ahh. Purple drank I have heard of. It still mystifies me, but I’ve at least heard of it.

He paid for drugs digitally? I feel like we may need a few new crack commandments added to the list for the 21st century.

WTF is lean?! I’m so glad I’m old and don’t need to keep up with this shit anymore.

I’m all for a sex strike, as it wouldn’t require me to alter my lifestyle at all.

I mean, I think the idea is that the good men will get horny enough and mad enough at the evil ones for being evil that they’ll fight harder for us.

The MANY MANY levels of people who OKed this ad before it became reality is mind boggling.