I wish I were a bear. If I were a bear, I wouldn’t have to listen to politics, or feel guilt, or poop indoors. I could be free to live my life and no one would look at me like I was crazy for tearing a backpacker’s throat out.

The better for my cousin Walter to get that gerbil out of his butt.

Far better than using another cat.

The better for my cousin Walter to get that gerbil out of his butt.

Far better than using another cat.