Can we add “too judged”? Because parents that try to let their kids fall down and be more feral and learn from their mistakes get arrested now. Somewhere along the line we made imperfect parenting a crime.

This is only tangentially a food story, but it ends up in a Starbucks, so there you go.

Like in the “don’t be classist toward your customers ‘cause they might be Eddie Vedder” story.

I don’t know that it would’ve been “OK,” but they wouldn’t have been followed out of the restaurant in the first place had they left even a decent tip.

You think that’s bad? Try being the one responsible for designing exhaust ports.

“Steakback Outhouse.”

I want homemade chips and guac so badly.

It’s a nice bookend to one of my favorites, “this can only end in beers.”

Two things that need to branded into the souls of every human being before they’re allowed out on their own.

I have to say that although I don’t care either way about the bun, this graphic annoys the fuck out of me. I think they were going for “The burger is on a pedestal with a cover that has just been removed behind it” but the “cover” is very obviously too shallow to have been covering the burger. It’s the visual…

THIS ABOMINATION; THIS CREEPING, SHUDDERING NIGHT TERROR GIVEN FORM; THIS BLEAK, JOY-EVISCERATING GRAYNESS!

The finest microwaves.

“whom we all called Caramel Lady. ”

You know what? I love the balls on Cara Sloane to tell a BCO story about her own fuck-up. Just about every one of these is told from the waiter’s point of view, so I am always curious as to how customers would tell one of these (and what the exact hell was goin on in their cerebellums)...

“So, your table stopped me and asked what kind of fish they had was because they thought you were lying to them; I told them it was cod and they asked why we didn’t have real fish.”

Okay, I haven’t read through yet, but last week, I discussed writing up a “BCO In Jokes Primer”... and here it is. For all those who are new...

OH COME ON

The ingenious waitress’ name has been lost to history, but the Legend of The Waitress With The World’s Driest Sense Of Humor is still whispered to this very day.

The Reuben one reminded me of a story Terry Pratchett told. He said that one jet-lagged evening he accidently asked for Three Mile Island dressing for his salad. The waitress didn’t say a word, just brought him Thousand Island dressing and a bottle of hot sauce.