Pizza guy, there at the bottom? That guy is my fucking hero.

Hi, welcome to BCO! We have fun here.

When an author trolls his own blog, then I know I’m in the right place:)

“you’ve never worked with the general public before.”

I’ve been working with General Public so long, he was just Lieutenant Public when I got started.

I thought it was fantastic, and my surprising favorite character this time out was Ultron of all people. (Well, not people, but you get the idea.)

Don’t give up on that pillow fort! My schnookums and I have had a blanket fort in our bedroom for over a year. Bed, TV, handheld electronics are all inside. Our bed is comprised ENTIRELY of blankets and pillows. It’s wonderful and we sleep better on that than we ever have on anything else.

My husband had to restrain me at a Disney World counter-service restaurant, where we waited in line to order for FIFTEEN MINUTES, and the people in front of me STILL had to lingeringly peruse the menu board which had been plainly visible to them for FIFTEEN MINUTES (did I mention we’d all been standing in front of it…

Once, an 8-top of Christians left one of those “Here’s a Tip for You!” pamphlets on my table, in lieu of a cash tip. I was sort of used to this, so I didn’t remark much, just tossed it into the bus tub with the rest of the debris, and a glower.

I’m a little late but here goes. I worked in a Gay Dennys in Arizona and soon after gay marriage became legal, I had the most adorable elderly couple of men, one white, one black. They were seated at the counter and had on these beautiful leis. I asked if I could feel the real flowers and asked what the occasion was.…

I used to work at Starbucks, most often opening with a supervisor. One cold winter Canadian morning, I arrive to open and my supervisor is not there. I wait a little then call her, repeatedly, with no answer. Now I only live about 3 blocks away, so I could walk home, but I don’t want to be accused of leaving or not…

One of my favorite interviews was with a company, i won’t say their name, but rhymes with Whine Warmer. This was the second level interview for a salaried position and they said with pride “we typically put in 60-70 hours a week.” I, not missing a beat responded “you’re obviously doing it wrong.” Needless to say, i…

FACT: Bears eat beets.
Bears.
Beets.
Battlestat Galactica.

Imma come back in an hour after more people have gotten a chance to comment

Who needs that many pickles?! Clearly that was that woman's first visit to planet earth.

I think I've posted in the comments a time or two, but I'll email submit it!

I'm a 20% tipper. You'd have to stab me in the face to get that knocked down.

"As a palate cleanser for the last two weeks, please enjoy some stories of terrible customers receiving their just rewards."

He turns to his bright-eyed eight year old, sitting but two feet from me, and says, "You see son? This is why you should stay in school."(FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU)

If you're giving prizes for best turns of phrase in BCO (consider it!), I nominate "Jesus freak dog fuckers" and "unsdisputed King of the Dickwalruses" from this week's batch.