Can we start the bidding or...?

great, now i have an auditory file of steve king saying the word “sperm” over and over again in my mind

this should be treated as a fucking hate crime. universities don’t have unmitigated authority to use their own disciplinary system in cases when a clear crime against god damn humanity has been committed jesus f-ing f.

only god and caity weaver can judge justin beiber

my mother’s favorite advice is “always have another one (man) lined up.” certainly advice that fosters independence, ha ha.

loved whoopi dearly until she repeatedly defended bill cosby. nope nope nope.

UGH yes thank you. My boss tried to friend me on Facebook last week and we had a SIT DOWN MEETING during which I had to explain why I didn’t accept it. Side note—he has a pretty obvious crush on me and it sucks 😓😓😓

We won’t.

BUT HE GOOGLED PHOTOS OF MILANIA TRUMP

Y tho

I like the spirit of this feature since people are extremely selfish and thereby need a selfish reason to not drive their gross vehicles everywhere

OH MY FUCKING JESUS

Who actually goes to Nobu anymore?

this really challenges my theory on how many times one could possibly say “dope” in a single sentence

with all the subtlety of a blunt ax that says the word “blunt ax” on it

i’m really hoping we finally figure out how many bodies she has in her scary house, which sounds like it is one of those doll houses your great aunt sally didn’t let you touch. http://gawker.com/taylor-swifts-home-sounds-like-it-was-decorated-by-a-se-1632061596

cinematic patronus!!! yes!!!!!

he’s not suggesting polyamory. he’s suggesting an open relationship. they are different things.

What? Which one of her sisters is named Kim?

yeah, if they were black