17 letters for how many fucks I dont give.

I kinda wish he had actually beaten Madonna.

She looks like every girl I went to HS with after a tooth and hair job.

I dont know how smart either of them are.

Who would have thought that a lifetime of ramming your skull into solid objects would be detrimental to brain health?

You can still work for DEADSPIN.

Oh god, football players are fucking dumb.

I wasnt a fan I was a cop working security too.

I was at that game, sorry for throwing those nachos in your face.

Zoo director Abe Shizaki noted that the Zebra was returned to its cage and was delicious.

I would go out and buy a deluxe remastered copy of “The River” right now if it would cause you to feel as though your penis had been slammed in a car door.

Obligatory Springsteen sucks and is overrated post.

I dont see why anyone is surprised by violent and inexplicable behavior from a guy who gets his head pounded a few hundred times a night.

“Thats super-cool, bud.”

How are the ice cream sandwiches in there?