I can’t wait for NBC’s coverage of this, “Spirited celebrations have broken out throughout Rio, as Brazilians are overcome with joy at hosting the Olympics.”

Like all great conspiracy theories, it makes too much sense to not be true. I am now a NDSU media rights truther (needs a better name).

So this might sound a little conspiracy-ish, but the station they signed the rights with was an NBC station owned by Comcast. And Comcast via NBC has the contract with the USOC who also has laid down a bunch of rules on who can use the Olympic material if they haven’t paid. Comcast also has an affinity for excluding…

That’s because no one who uses Excel has an important job.
I use excel every day. Also...notice what I’m doing right now.

DFSDFFJKLDFJKLFJKLDF YOU FUCK

During my job interview, my boss asked me if I had experience using Excel. I told him that I excelled in it and got a little chuckle out of him. I have no clue what the fuck I’m doing on Excel, but no one has noticed for 8 years.

I go eat jelly donuts before every dental visit. Make them earn their money.

Even studies funded by companies that stand to directly benefit from increased pressure to floss—members of the roughly $2 billion global floss market—“struggled to provide convincing evidence of their claims that floss reduces plaque or gingivitis.”

From henceforth we shall refer to any screen set by Mr. Green as a Dick Pick and Roll.

You’d think Green would wait to get to Rio to go viral.

Donald Trump: So full of shit, he makes the NFL look like a credible organization.

In related news, I'm banning hot ladies from hitting on me.

Bear family needs a bigger pool.

Let’s hope their fan promotions nights go off without a hitch!

Nope, no way to make birds racist.

It’s actually the exact same protocol and the NFL is just counting on the players not being able to remember it.

I feel the same about outreach IHS, universities and nonprofits do in my community about diabetes. Um yeah, we know we are more likely to suffer it (and damned near everything else) because, you know, our friends and families are suffering it. We are poor and Native, but not stupid.

One community in our area got really, really mad when it was disclosed that over 2 million had been given to an organization to do outreach about health. Not provide services or even screenings, just let people know that they were more likely to suffer from heart disease/cancer/etc. because of their race. It was…

Yes, it can be seen clearly in this photo too: