This article had it all—pipeline namedrop, selfie linked to Twitter so you can heart it, big old bulleted list of personal experience reframed as universal truths. A true touchstone for how to captivate today’s readers.

I feel like your inconveniences are less important than the real issues here, yet somehow you wrote an entire article about how much it sucks to be cold.

Because they can hem and haw about how she’s an entitled whiny brat while they do nothing to rectify the situations they so proudly “champion”.

I have to commend you for trying, but maybe you didn’t get the memo. We’ve moved past facts and into feelings territory. The purpose of this blog post is to make readers feel like their indignation is righteous. Be amazed as Anna Merlan magically transforms the blunt Keith Lamont Scott was smoking in his car into a…

It doesn’t matter if it’s open carry or not, you have to drop a gun if a cop says to drop it. Open carry doesn’t mean you can point a gun at anyone or hold it when ordered to put it down.

In this case, they found a gun. The wife said there wasn’t one, but she was wrong. She also had known he had a gun because she had filed a domestic violence report against him before the incident and said he had one. Having TBI doesn’t mean you are excused from obeying a “drop the gun” order.

Lighten up, Francis.

Just to be perfectly clear, the order of importance is this:

It was clearly in jest.

I know, it’s run, hide, FIGHT! This Bitch needs to get some!

Get over yourself - see you next Tuesday

Calm down, cunt.

You’re kinda shitty.

Jesus, calm down.

Yeesh, I was just being tongue-in-cheek, what with our capture it on cell phone, stream it culture. I don’t think your response was necessary.

Oh please.

It’s. As. If. Your. Every. Step. Is. The. First. Step. Over. The. Cliff.

You know who else was a victim of domestic violence? The guy who got his dick cut off.

Depends on who you voted for. I voted Hillary and actually enjoyed this article, even if it’s not satirical. It’s a good balance to this site and all of the other Post-Gawker sites.