Dan Majerle, anybody? Anybody?

I was going to say that this team just got “Bortled,” because the dude has a goofy name and also sucks. Then I thought, “Nah, I should say this team just got Jaguared,” because they’ve been so fucking awful for so long.

It’s a cheap ploy for easy stars, but I don’t care. Fuck both of these guys — especially Floyd Mayweather.

If Mayweather simply pretends McGregor is a woman, he should have no problem beating the daylights out of him.

HO HO HO, LOOK AT MR. ORIGINAL IMO OVER HERE.

You lost me at “imagine.”

I’m not looking forward to LeBron channeling Shaq and asking, “Who?” each time a reporter asks about Kyrie.

Boston Assets. I hate ’em.

There is no “Draft” to dodge. Except the NFL Draft. And these fools got drafted by the Browns. The BROWNS. It’s like the Afghanistan of NFL teams.

Welp, I just wiped away a tear while watching Little League highlights. Now everyone at my gate at LaGuardia thinks I’m insane. Thanks for that.

Plenty of time to protest. No time to vote.

Dashiell Robert Parr, you are an incredibly competitive boy. And a bit of a showoff. The last thing you need is temptation.

I mean, sure, unless the DM was, “Sorry bro, Kyrie is better!”

Well actually.

Honestly, Rich Hill might be the most brittle starting pitcher in Major League Baseball. I can’t believe he’s still in there. Good on him.

Yea, hi. That’s my ticket.

“Black Trump, everyone!”

Half the comments on this article are attacks on Deadspin, attacks on the quoted economists, or attacks on other commenters.

Something like 15 of the guys on the Rays roster are on one year contracts. I don’t want to fall in love with this team because they’re all going to be on the Angels next year.

Well hot dog! What a “trade!”