Pwned.

I don’t understand why people pine for Levine. He’s a sixth man.

I can’t believe Ron Artest is still in the league.

Yes, they are.

I go through some intense caffeine withdrawal myself. Headaches, some sweats, agitation. It makes for a rough weekend the two times a year I try to quit.

Also: What editors? ESPN has been downsizing. Wouldn’t surprised me if the column was given any more than a cursory spelling and grammar check before it was posted.

Fuck I just remembered we signed Mike Glennon.

I’m hoping this leads to a two-year blackout period of hookers, blow, and random “Is that A-A Ron?” late-night Milwaukee bar appearances for Rodgers.

One of my best friends has been telling me for years: In 20 years, we’re going to come after soda companies the way we went after tobacco companies.

My favorite part of that commercial was the ineffectual signs all the protestors carried.

I have a three-year-old son with autism. While he doesn’t have the severe diagnosis that it sounds like this woman’s child has, HOLY CRAP, what is wrong with us?

Exactly the joke. : )

I have no idea how to pronounce this fucking guy’s last name.

draft a chain-smoking career loser who spends his free time housing donuts by the dozen and hitting on his teammates’ wives

Speaking of the good old boys, anybody listening to the S-Town podcast yet?

This bit never stops being true.

“This game would be a lot more fun with teammates”

Sources say Peterson is surprised by the lack of interest in him this offseason.

He’s awfully mellow about the situation. Awful Melo.

“Come on you apes! You want to live forever!?”