Methinks he's basically the real life version of is character in Gone Girl.

I saw it a while ago on a gossip website. Unfortunately, I have photographic memory and it’s not the sort of “outfit” you can unsee.

How did you know?

I’d like for them to try and take that crown off of my head.

*Opens Back Alley Tanning Salon*

Now you’ve put me off sex tapes for life.

Me neither. Perfection is boring.

Or a sex tape.

Hello Adele,

That’ll do, Jeb

Her ex boss, who is a lawyer, hired a hit man to kill her? Someone give this woman a book deal!

You should watch them again.

There’s something wrong with the people in society that think they are perfect enough to reproduce.

If you think those scenes are weird you should watch her appearances on HSN.

Did you know that female bonobo apes gang up on rapists and rip them limb from limb?

I don’t listen to Mariah Carey’s music, but I’m still a fan because her gifs are the shadiest. I feel the same way about Cher and her Twitter.

How is she supposed to put food on the table if she doesn’t perform for dictators?

Nicki is a broke bitch! She’s only worth 60-70 mil. She needed that 2 mil!

Are dictators not allowed to enjoy performance art? Just let them live!