It should make you just as sad, even as a Jalop, that you find the one-hand tactic acceptable even for people who drive automatics. One-handed idiocy does not discriminate between transmission types, sir. (again, injured/handicapped individuals notwithstanding)

I have a feeling, in my heart of hearts, that you’ll make me very proud. If not today, then someday. I believe in you <3

Manuals only. When you’re not shifting/anticipating a shift, hands at 9 and 3, buddy.

“for a few seconds here and there”

BOOOOOOOO. Too easy.

No murder required. Jay will die of care cancer in 3 years.

As this story looks thoroughly badass in my head, it’s still not a great argument for openly avoiding two-handed driving. Hands at 9 and 3, my brother/sister.

Not quite the same category, but I see your point. I would highly recommend you be aware of the condition of your vehicle before you go and drive it, which may require just making sure you have all four wheels (duh). I firmly believe “better but not necessary” is a poor excuse for just refusing to drive with both…

Will you make me very, very proud?

That Brodozer King Ranch isn’t likely a manual.

My hero.

Normal driving can become an emergency at any instant.

I get it, I really do. I’ll occasionally catch myself with one hand weighted at the bottom of the wheel with another arm draped across an arm rest. It’s the devil’s game of inches though; you’re in total control in casual comfort using that single hand, until the…

Hands at 9 and 3, sir/ma’am

I’m an abhorrent asshole whenever I see someone in traffic driving with one hand. Especially if it’s perched up at 12 o’clock. USE TWO GODDAMN HANDS, MAN.

So, option 1:

Don’t forget running, I guess.

Welcome to Pep Boys! You’ll find our accessories department over h– Oh, that’s your truck? Well goddamn, you’re already taken care of SON!

This. I don’t think there’s been a TD celebration (unless I’m not paying attention, which is common!) that has emulated a particularly famous Madden glitch. These need to happen this year!

underrated comment

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