you aren’t good at this...

I was nodding along in agreement with everything you said until you got to the size of the field. Baseball ballparks are the only hallowed ground left on this goddamned cesspool of a planet and I will not sit idly by while you besmirch their name regardless of how well argued the rest of your point is and how…

I manage a restaurant and myself and all of my employees are pretty much perpetually drinking coffee or energy drinks until we are afforded the opportunity to start drinking booze. I don’t think restaurants could exist without caffeine. oh. or coke. I forgot people do coke.

worst take of the night? or just a bad take? not even an O’s fan here...

The only reason Machado came close to going over the bag was because he reacted so quickly to trying to help pedroia from falling over. This is so obviously not intentional that if you think differently I question your ability to be objective. I would, however, humor an argument that the rule should have been called…

Honestly. Why does it matter? If a bunch of baseball players didn’t show up to the white house when a democratic president was in office would liberals give 2 fucks? I know I wouldn’t

If you only have a 1% chance of getting jokes should we still make them?

yeah when he said not much worthwhile is leaving and revealed that There Will Be Blood is leaving in the same sentence a little part of me died. A magnificent film. It’s so good I called it a film. It could even be a picture. I’m not sure...

Full Hearts

the eagles tried this with riley cooper not to long ago, but he doesn’t blend in well with anything of color.

As a Phillies fan I love Chase Utley so much that my brain can’t even comprehend people not liking him. It just refuses to process that information and I literally interpretted this as I want to fuck chase utley (to which I nodded) until I re-read.

Home run is the truncated and outdated form of “hitting strong home run slams all over the baseball yard”. Most modern people prefer the full terminology. For clarity’s sake of course.

Hot taxonomy take here — there are no buffalo in yellowstone. Plenty of bison though.

its only 9:45 but you’re certainly the leader in the clubhouse...

if the ball hit the umpire first it would have been dead, but because it hit the pitcher first it’s a live ball.

Having lived in Pittsburgh before I’m just happy he didn’t put ranch dressing and fries on it...

Not only that but there is a theory in human evolution that one of the things that enables our early ancestors to get out of the trees was the ability to digest the fermented fruit that was lying on the ground.

I’ve always thought it would be great if the bullpens started to brawl and made everyone else come out to them for once. Just once. It would be amazing.

additionally did he really say it “as he roamed center field”. I’m just as offended by the poor writing as I am by the dickish behavior.