I used to make soup for my own breakfast most mornings. I should probably think about doing that again.

My wife is sort of like this, but if there’s something like crusty bread on the side, or even some good (like, a little more flavorful than saltines, but nothing fancy) crackers, she’s fine. I think her brain really needs the “Okay, we are chewing,” signal.

Decades ago, ours were plaques that also had the team photo mounted on them. And yes, they were important to little Maggie. I really ENJOYED playing softball, basketball, etc., even though I was never very good at them (it turns out that I have neurological problems; growing up I was just told I didn’t try hard…

Exactly. I played rec league sports as a kid, and we got little plaques for participation (they had the team picture on them, but there was also an engraved plate to the side that said something like, “Maggie Pye, Name of Sports Team, Name of League, 1978.” And if we won something, it might say, “League Champion,” or…

It’s not “a woman” (as in “just any woman”)—it’s Rosie O’Donnell, and for multiple reasons, yes, a lot of Trump’s followers will think it’s okay to laugh at her family’s suffering.

Definitely. (And I’m coming at this as a person who does have religious beliefs.) If you literally cannot be a decent person without the fear of hell, then by all means, use the fear of hell to motivate you to not be horrible. But it’s far better to be a decent person because it’s just the right thing to do.

Also a selfish one. These are the people who can bring me the thing that will make me feel better. Why would I be mean to them?

No, me neither. I love pumpkin, but my coffee doesn’t need to taste like it. (I also don’t want my coffee to taste like fruit, to be honest.)

Like I said, that parent was still a complete nightmare sack of shit (and unless “kids who do not come to class” are now a race, I don’t think you were being racist at all).

Exactly! When I see “pumpkin spice latte,” I figure it’s going to taste like it has spices in it—specifically, the kinds of spices found in the bottle of “pumpkin pie spice” in my pantry (cinnamon, nutmeg, etc.). I don’t expect it to taste like pumpkin, and in fact, I think that sounds kind of gross.

Makes sense. My SiL is totally backward (the two times she did have morning sickness, she miscarried) and knows it. And does not do the, “Well, I wasn’t sick, so you shouldn’t be” thing, or anything like that. But she did worry a lot, and her doctor had concerns. It sounds like this woman did indeed have some nausea,…

My SiL has had four kids and never had any morning sickness/nausea whatsoever (feel free to hate her for it). This woman said she had some nausea, but obviously not to a debilitating degree.

12 weeks was referring to how far along she was when she won the title. 24 weeks was how far along she was when she learned she was pregnant.

If you have a picky cat (most of mine are not, but I used to have one [he has died of old age]), to change their food, you gradually transition them over.

The issue with cats is not that it doesn’t work, but that if a cat goes without food for 24 hours, they’re at risk of fatty liver disease (which happens a lot faster in cats than it does in other species).

I get hangry. I get hangry enough that my wife invented a whole new term for it, “huckwitted,” because if my blood sugar drops enough, I am the dumbest asshole in all the Northern Hemisphere, Donald Trump included.

My wife’s job in food service has been getting steadily shittier over the 2-1/2 years she’s had it, but the one decent thing her managers still do is allow their staff to refuse service to douchebags.

My mother didn’t start acting horrible to servers until well into my parents’ marriage. She was a horrible person, but she hid it much better in public (and even at home, when my father was around) until I was about 10, at which point apparently she woke up one day and decided that no more fucks would be given. Dad…

Argh. At least my old bosses used the day of the week (like, “fourth Tuesday in June”) from the previous year. Even if they forgot to factor in, “Major ag show/convention center opened up this year and we MIGHT get some of their people since we’re the only thing open after 10 PM.”

Well, the last name isn’t always a clue—I was a Spanish teacher, and while two members of our department were native Spanish speakers (one from Cuba, one from Ecuador) and had Spanish surnames, neither was Mexican and they both utterly hated all the Mexican and Mexican-American students in our school.