Oh, you poor thing. That's not even poutine. I mean, it's PFK/KFC poutine, it's better than McDo poutine, but...no.

But "don't apologize if you aren't sorry" =/= "don't call people out on their bad behavior." The point is that if you are called out on your behavior, only apologize if (with any luck, after giving the matter some actual thought) you're genuinely sorry for what you did. If you're not, then have the courage of your…

My nieces are 7 and 9, and yes, when they're trying to narrate anything even vaguely complex, they do sound a lot like this. (They can coherently tell you what they did in maths class today, but once they start trying to explain playground drama, it is all over the place.)

Nope, there's at least two of us who do. Don't know about the other fifteen, though.