if they shut the fuck up and open their ears when they move there and don’t insist that the people in that neighborhood change everything to cater to themselves, then they’re not going to be gentrifiers.

Umm yes. If you’re trying to say something, then fucking come out and say it. Don’t just hide behind a condescending question.

But God, Jesus made men, men. He made women, women, you know? And you’ve got to live the way God wants you to live.

I’ll admit that I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that ad even though I have no intention of seeing it.

I will likely never see this, but knowing in advance that the dog doesn’t die DOES tip the scales in this movies favor.

I’m going to defer to Calvin Trillin here.

As most Americans know, including, I hope, Donald Trump, Puerto Rico is part of America.

Now I need a twitter account detailing the fictional writing desks of famous authors. Emerson’s is just a pile of leaves next to a pond. Mary Shelley’s is her mother’s grave. Ayn Rand writes on the back of Paul Ryan, who considers it an honor.

I’m honestly annoyed even by those “I ate your Halloween candy...JUST KIDDING!” videos. I mean, why would you think it’s funny to mess with your child’s trust in their parents?

Look, even if this shit had been nothing but actual pranks, that’s still an evil thing to do to your child. Your kid should never, ever feel tricked by you. On purpose. For your amusement.

No, don’t stack rocks on the beaches. Many places such as Acadia NP are requesting that if you find them, you dismantle them. They cause erosion channels and they are unsightly, ruining the natural view that people are there for. Just stop. They are just as bad as those stupid love locks that people put on bridges.

Arrgh, wish I could remember that Flaubert quote where he describes a giant Egyptian pillar where some dicksmack has written his name, THOMPSON, across it in letters a foot high. People have been shitty forever.

Yeah, there’s no winners here. To be honest, the cops come out looking better. And I don’t think I’ve ever said that.

Small quibble — the Buckets weren’t American. Charlie bought his Wonka bar because he found 50 pence in the snow (children’s librarian here).

The one where Ratchel Dratch is the little blue guy that Tracy sees when he takes meds before going on Conan.

I just dismissed 3 comments declaring that art is necessarily dangerous (WTF? Maybe don’t use your toddler brother in it then?) and that trains aren’t silent. Just fucking Google it. Read one of many, many articles by everyone from the fucking rail companies to newspapers to science blogs that say the exact same…

Please please please please please somebody get esteemed classicist Mary Beard to write weekly recaps of this travesty.

We had a talking parrot when I was a kid and they are so incredibly smart. He would yell “shut the door” whenever anyone left the house and learned to count in English and Spanish from watching Sesame Street with me. His language skills were incredible and he actually adapted and learned. My mom hated him and always…

I wrote my honours thesis on this quotation! At Harvard-Oxford on the Thames.

You know Charlize, for all of that wisdom you've gained over the years I don't think you've quite grasped what it means for a flower's chances of long-term survival if it's in a vase.