I’ve...seen things...you people wouldn’t believe. Yellow cheese with green bullshit passed off as queso; I watched a barista put poison in my coffee.... All those...moments...will be lost, like my monogramed thermos.

First Question: You can’t eat/ have issues with dairy. You have two dessert options, cheesecake and strawberry ice. Which option is best for you?

Pierce Brosnan

You see, we have laptops and cel phones and tablets and even the internets now! I know it’s hard for you to believe but it’s true. And the last thing we need is someone telling us how to speak, write, act etc. so, please don’t. Please don’t. TL;DR: You’re not the boss of me and you never will be.

I’m Native American, so go. away. forever.

This lady is my spirit animal............

“Who is Alanis?”